Training for balance

The usual idea of self-confidence and balance

Many people have the image that someone who walks through life upright and self-confident is, or must be, always in balance. We believe that true strength lies in not putting on airs, never wavering or showing that we are insecure.

This idea suggests that we should be perfectly balanced all the time so as not to be perceived as weak or vulnerable. It seems as if every step we take is proof that we are in control of our lives and that any wobble is a sign of failure.

What balance really means

But true balance does not mean never wavering. Rather, it means realizing earlier that we are out of balance and developing the ability to quickly regain balance.

Imagine a tightrope walker balancing high up on a thin rope. He wobbles just like anyone else, but what sets him apart is his ability to quickly regain his balance if he starts to sway. He doesn't aim to never wobble - he knows that's impossible. Instead, he has trained to quickly adjust his focus and movements to get back to his center.

Positive effects on relationships

If we apply this understanding of balance to our own lives, especially in our relationships, we can experience enormous positive changes.

Relationships do not become strong because we never show ourselves vulnerable or never make mistakes. They grow and deepen when we are able to quickly find our way back to a balanced, benevolent attitude when conflicts or misunderstandings arise. If we realize early on that we are (or will be) out of balance - be it through stress, anger or insecurity - and consciously (want to) find our way back to the middle, we create space for genuine connection and understanding.

Instead of getting caught up in rigid patterns that burden us and the other person, we can react flexibly and openly, which strengthens the relationship.

How you can train this

Training this balance is easier than it seems at first. It starts by pausing more often in your everyday life.

If you notice that you are out of balance - whether it is due to a stressful moment, an emotional reaction or a physical reaction - take a moment to pause. Instead of holding on with all your might to appear steadfast and unshakeable, allow yourself to feel the wavering!

Take a few breaths and find out what is throwing you off track and what you need to find your balance again.

This brief moment of pause gives you the opportunity to react consciously instead of just acting automatically. Over time, you will notice that it becomes easier and easier for you to find your center more quickly and to radiate this serenity in your relationships. It is this ability that constitutes true self-confidence - not constant perfection, but the art of constantly catching yourself and realigning yourself.

You can learn!

With us.